


the hero chat (noir)

by mageofmoonlight



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: AAAAAAAAAAA, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asexual Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Bisexual Chloé Bourgeois, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Chatting & Messaging, Demisexual Nino Lahiffe, F/M, Fake/Pretend Sibling Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Identity Reveal, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, One-Sided Chloé Bourgeois/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Pansexual Alya Césaire, RIP, Texting, That's it that's the plot, i haven't seen seasons 2 or 3 so i do what i want, that's the stuff, the heroes have a group chat, the other heroes won't be in here because i'm just here for core five interactions, you know what's better than fake dating?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-12-31 08:23:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21129077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mageofmoonlight/pseuds/mageofmoonlight
Summary: rena the rogue: i'm breaking up with youbee-you-tiful: fcarapeace: welp i guess chat's my boyfriend nowchat noir: i'd like that!bee-you-tiful: i can't tell if he's joking or if he genuinely would like to date carapacechat noir: come on, who wouldn't want to date carapace?ladybug: rena, apparentlyrena the rogue: you know what you did





	1. welp i guess chat's my boyfriend now

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this once and accidentally deleted it and i hate myself
> 
> i haven't seen seasons two or three lol
> 
> so uhhh a few notes:  
\- screw canon i'm picking and choosing what i want  
\- no one knows chloe's queen bee. not even the other miraculous holders. why? because i want hijinx  
\- i don't know if this is getting continued or not we'll see what i feel like doing

**#general**

\---> **Chat Noir** just joined. Can I get a heal?

\---> Ermagherd. **bee-you-tiful** is here.

**Chat Noir: **Oh my gosh! A real group chat! I've wanted to be in one of these since I first read group chat fanfiction a few years ago. And it's with Ladybug!

**bee-you-tiful: **hnnnnng

**bee-you-tiful:** that's right peasants be awed you don't deserve me

**Chat Noir: **Queenie!

**bee-you-tiful: **oh no you're one of _those _people

**Chat Noir: **What people?

**bee-you-tiful: **ladybug make me a mod i want to change grandpa's nickname

**bee-you-tiful: **the capitalization hurts my eyes

**Chat Noir: **I'm sorry?

**ladybug: **this was a bad idea

\---> Welcome,** rena the rogue**. Stay a while and listen.

**rena the rogue: **queenie you would be a horrible mod

\---> Swoooosh. **carapeace** just landed.

**carapeace: **swoosh

**bee-you-tiful: **i would not

**carapeace: **if anyone should be a mod it's chat. i mean he is ladybug's partner

**ladybug: **chat noir being a mod is almost as bad of an idea as queenie being one

**Chat Noir: **What's a mod?

**bee-you-tiful: **excuse you i would make a great mod because

**ladybug: **if chat became a mod he'd just change everyone's nicknames to puns

**ladybug: **because what

**Chat Noir: **I can do that?

**ladybug: **no

**Chat Noir: **3:

**bee-you-tiful: **ladybug do something about this before i block him

**ladybug: **who taught chat noir to use cat emoticons

**Chat Noir: **I'm not completely new to the internet, m'lady.

**bee-you-tiful: **then why the heck do you type like a grandpa

**Chat Noir: **My father says that teenagers who text with grammatical errors and no capitalization are lazy and stupid.

**rena the rogue: **honey my phone automatically capitalizes everything it takes work to text this well

**rena the rogue: **it's all for the Aesthetic

**bee-you-tiful: **ew more capitals

**bee-you-tiful: **chat noir, i say this with the utmost respect but

**bee you-tiful: **screw your father

**carapeace: **rdgtiuewyth;ozrjsdz

**Chat Noir: **...

**chat noir: **...you're right.

**rena the rogue: **one of us one of us

**carapeace: **one of us one of us one of us

**chat noir: **:3

**ladybug: **i'm proud of you chat

**ladybug: **but please stop with the cat emojis

**chat noir: ** _:3_

**chat noir: **ooh italics!

**ladybug: **okay while we're all online i'm going to make a channel with rules

**rena the rogue: **ew

**carapeace: **dude rules are there for a reason

**rena the rogue: **eat the rich

**rena the rogue: **except for adrien agreste he's cool

**chat noir: **gthuei;ythioewhtgzb

**bee-you-tiful: **valid

**#rules**

**ladybug: **okay grond rules

**ladybug: ***ground

**ladybug: **shut up i don't need to be in the channel to know what you're all saying

**ladybug: **okay number one

**ladybug: **don't do anything to reveal your identity or that of anyone else

**ladybug: **don't hint, don't tell it, and don't try to figure anyone else's out

**ladybug: **that means you rena

**ladybug: **also please don't spam too much i realize it's nice to have a place to chat with friends but first and foremost this is here to alert each other for hero stuff

**ladybug: **i love you guys but you have no chill

**ladybug: **except carapace i guess he's cool

**ladybug: **i'll just make a channel for akuma alerts i guess

**ladybug: **please don't spam in there or @everyone unless there's an emergency

**ladybug: **actually please don't mention me at all unless there's an emergency

**ladybug: **i have a life i need sleep

**ladybug: **that's all for now but i will be back

**#general**

**rena the rogue: **grond

**carapeace: **grond

**bee-you-tiful: **grond

**chat noir: **what?

**chat noir: **oh

**rena the rogue: **wow i feel called out

**chat noir: **!!

**chat noir: **i love you too ladybug! you're my best friend

**rena the rogue: **hey @ladybug can i be a mod so i can set some of my own rules 

**chat noir: **i mean other than plagg and my civilian best friend and my childhood best friend because i love all of them a lot too

**carapeace: **dude she just said not to @ her

**rena the rogue: **oops

**bee-you-tiful: **rena would be a worse mod than me and chat combined

**carapeace: **that's fair

**rena the rogue: **aww come on guys i just wanted to outlaw peanut butter

**chat noir: **peanut butter? why would you want to outlaw peanut butter

**rena the rogue: **because

**chat noir: **because what?

**rena the rogue: **because

**chat noir: **...

**ladybug: **no

**ladybug: **please don't make me regret this guys

**carapeace: **can i make a suggestion for the rules

**ladybug: **i'll take it under advisement

**carapeace: **no pda

**rena the rogue: **i'm breaking up with you

**bee-you-tiful: **f

**carapeace: **welp i guess chat's my boyfriend now

**chat noir: **i'd like that!

**bee-you-tiful: **i can't tell if he's joking or if he genuinely would like to date carapace

**chat noir: **come on, who wouldn't want to date carapace?

**ladybug: **rena, apparently

**rena the rogue: **you know what you did

**carapeace: **:(

**chat noir: **:)

**carapeace: **...:)

**bee-you-tiful: **pure

**rena the rogue: **chat noir? pure? in that suit? i don't think so

**chat noir: **what's wrong with my suit?

**bee-you-tiful: **honey

**rena the rogue: **don't play dumb

**ladybug: **it's... very "sexy catboy"

**rena the rogue: **oh my god ladybug just called chat noir sexy

**carapeace: **nO PDA

**bee-you-tiful: **no capitals my eyes are dying

**chat noir: **f

**chat noir: **but seriously guys. what's wrong with my suit?

**ladybug: **i mean there's the bell for starters

**chat noir: **what's wrong with the bell? kids love the bell. it helps keep them calm when i carry them to safety!

**bee-you-tiful: **you said you read fanfiction. you know

**chat noir: **know what? what does fanfiction have to do with anything?

**rena the rogue: **seriously chat stop teasing us

**bee-you-tiful: **...lemons

**chat noir: **what do lemons have to do with fanfiction?

**rena the rogue: **oh my god he actually doesn't know

**ladybug: **it's smut chat

**chat noir: **oh

**chat noir: ** _oh_

**chat noir: ** _ohhhh_

**bee-you-tiful:**please stop

**chat noir: **i don't actually read any of that stuff. it says you have to be majority age for a reason, and the idea of it just makes me feel uncomfortable? i don't know. i mean it's cool if other people or even other aces read it! it's just not for me.

**chat noir: **and what does that have to do with my suit? i don't think it's inappropriate or anything. i mean, i've worn worse.

**carapeace: **ignoring the fact that chat says he's worn worse

**bee-you-tiful: **you're ace?

**bee-you-tiful: **if you don't mind me asking

**rena the rogue: **but you flirt so much!

**carapeace: **aces can be flirty, rena. i mean i'm demi and i've been known to flirt a time or two.

**chat noir: **yeah, i think so? i mean i'm not 100% sure. i was pretty sheltered growing up and only had one friend. i guess i could just be a late bloomer because of that? but i don't know. the label's just felt right for a few years. i'm not entirely sure on my romantic orientation. i mean my crush on ladybug started as soon as i felt a deep connection with her but that was also like immediately because i'm desperate for friends. so i spent a while after that warring with myself over whether i was really crushing on her or if i just really really wanted to be super close friends. i think it's both. i think. i'm not sure. and all of my friends keep telling me i have a crush on this other girl and it's getting kind of frustrating? because she's a nice person but i can barely get a handle on my feelings for one person let alone two. and platonic relationships are a thing. i don't think i have a crush on her but i actually have no idea what the difference is between feeling a romantic crush and wanting to be close friends with someone so. please someone help.

**carapeace: **i support you, dude!

**chat noir: **!!!

**chat noir: **ace spectrum buddies! -high five-

**carapeace: **-high five-

**bee-you-tiful: **thank you for trusting us with that, chat. i kind of get how it feels? it took me forever to realize i was bi and even then it took me a while to actually feel comfortable with that label.

**chat noir: **you're bi, queenie? that's great! thank _you_ for trusting _us_.

**chat noir: **also i have the perfect nickname for you

**bee-you-tiful: **...what

**chat noir: **queen bi!

**queen bi: **...i don't hate it

**ladybug: **wow... that means a lot to me that you would trust us enough to tell us that, chat. thank you. and i'm sorry if i've ever given you mixed signals on our relationship. i mean there's another guy i really like so i never really looked at you like that? i'm a bi disaster

**rena the rogue: **oh come on you're a functional bi at least

**rena the rogue: **i'm the disaster pan here

**carapeace: **i'd like to think i'm a distinguished demi but tbh i'm probably barely functional

**queen bi: **i'm both distinguished and a disaster at the same time. fear me

**rena the rogue: **you know, i can't argue with that

**queen bi: **boys and girls are both so freaking pretty

**rena the rogue: **can't argue with that logic either

**carapeace: **hey where did chat and ladybug go

**Direct Message: @Chat Noir & @ladybug**

**Chat Noir: **no! if anything the fault is mine, ladybug. the most important thing is that i don't make you uncomfortable. and i'm sorry if i ever have and i'll try to do better when you ask me to back off. it doesn't excuse my actions but i genuinely had no idea how coming after you like that could have seemed? there's this girl who's been getting kind of handsy with me lately and i was talking with a friend of mine and he told me that that's sexual harassment? it was making me really uncomfortable and i didn't even _know_ that was a thing that could be happening to me. but it got me thinking about you. and i've been thinking over what to say for a few days but i really wanted to let you know that it wasn't intentional and i'll back off from the flirting and nicknames if you want. please tell me if i make you uncomfortable because i was pushy and a jealous prick and that was wrong of me. you're my friend first and foremost.

**ladybug: **oh kitty. thank you for saying that. but we're good, okay? i'm so sorry you're going through that and to heck with secret identities please feel free to keep me updated on that situation because that's Not Okay. i'm completely fine with our relationship how it is. you're important to me. you're my best friend and i like the flirting and the nicknames and the banter and keep this a secret please but i even like the puns. as long as you back off when i seriously tell you to, we're good. and it is on me a little, because i should have made my boundaries clearer. if i ever really sound serious about you backing off, please do, but i know you will and i can promise that that moment either won't happen or will happen very rarely. please don't feel bad.

**Chat Noir: **ladybug, please don't think it's your fault! because it's not. my friend told me that it's never the fault of the person who's being harassed and that's true here too

**ladybug: **you weren't harassing me, _minou_, i promise

**Chat Noir: **promise not to laugh?

**ladybug: **promise

**Chat Noir: **it just occurred to me recently that the way i flirt isn't actually how most people flirt? i was super sheltered and i didn't realize that people don't actually flirt like they do in anime until like... three days ago when i was called out on it. i'm an idiot.

**ladybug: **you're not an idiot. being sheltered doesn't make you stupid.

**Chat Noir: **nah, i'm just oblivious i guess. or maybe just a disaster ace

**ladybug: **ily _chaton _<3

**Chat Noir: **ily too my lady <333 :3

**#general**

**chat noir: **ladybug said she likes my puns!

**queen bi: **we know honey

**ladybug: **well then

**ladybug: **chat noir learned to flirt from anime

**rena the rogue: **yeah we know that too

**carapeace: **f


	2. i love your nickname! it really takes the cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the support for this story and ace!adrien gave me life so... what's up
> 
> oh and almost forgot: in this au marinette still gave alya and nino their miraculouses but adrien gave chloe hers
> 
> so marinette knows alya and nino's identities, adrien knows chloe's, and alya and nino know each other's
> 
> why? antics

**#general**

**chat noir: **m'lady! we should change our nicknames! we're the only ones who still have our hero names as our usernames.

**queen bi: **bold of you to assume i ever had my hero name as my username

**rena the rogue: **mood

**chat noir: **ooh, we should have matching nicknames! that would be fun!

**ladybug: **i mean we already kind of do have matching nicknames though

**ladybug: **we match because we're the only ones still being professional

**rena the rogue: **professional? what's that?

**chat noir: **please m'lady? think of all the puns we could use!

**rena the rogue: **i can't believe i never realized how pure chat noir is

**ladybug: **mmmmmmm

**ladybug: **i'll make you a deal. if you think of something i actually like, i'll change it

**ladybug: **but no puns

**chat noir: **but you like my puns

**ladybug: **i'm starting to regret that

**rena the rogue: **starting to?

**rena the rogue: **my boyfriend was corrupted by his pun-loving best friend and i've been regretting that since i started dating him

**carapeace: **to be fair though, he lights up every time i make a pun how could i _not_

**rena the rogue: **fair i guess i mean your best friend is sunshine

**ladybug: **he is though

**queen bi: **starting to feel left out rip

**rena the rogue: **f

**ladybug: **f

**carapeace: **f

**chat noir: **i promise bugaboo i will think of the perfect nickname

**queen bi: **why not just go with your obnoxiously sappy nicknames for each other?

**chat noir: **!!

**chat noir: **queenie that's an awesome idea!

**ladybug: **...so like what? kitty and m'lady?

**chat noir: **sure!

**ladybug: **...fine. for now.

**kitty: **!!! :3

**m'lady: **...

**m'lady: **:)

**kitty: **<33

**carapeace: **pure

**kitty: **oh, and so just to be clear... rena is pan, carapace is demi, and queenie and m'lady are bi, right?

**rena the rogue: **yeppers

**carapeace: ** _yeppers_

**rena the rogue:** shut it shelly

**queen bi: **yeppers

**m'lady: **yeppers

**kitty: **...yeppers?

**rena the rogue: **you know, when chat and ladybug say it, i can't be mad

**rena the rogue: **i'm coming after queenie and carapace though

**carapeace: **:(

**queen bi: **oh by the way rena, speaking of nicknames, what's up with yours

**rena the rogue: **hmm?

**queen bi: **why are you a rogue

**carapeace: **it's because of her roguishly handsome looks

**rena the rogue: **u right

**rena the rogue: **nah seriously though it's because a lot of english speakers tend to spell rogue and rouge 

**rena the rogue: **and i'm very much a grammar nazi

**m'lady: **we punch nazis

**rena the rogue: **valid

**rena the rogue: **but anyway yeah i just felt like making fun of idiots

**rena the rogue: **and i like playing a rogue in dnd

**kitty: **ooh, i've always wanted to play that!

**kitty: **i'd love to be some type of magic user because you can't spend your childhood reading about wizards and _not_ want to be one

**carapeace: **fair

**queen bi: **i can

**queen bi: **it's not like watching anime would make you want to be an anime character

**kitty: **i would love to be an anime character

**queen bi: **or reading a romance would make you excited about going to public school every day

**kitty: **nope, i wanted that too

**queen bi: **you're just weird then

**rena the rogue: **she's not wrong

**kitty: **i've been called worse

**carapeace: **you keep saying stuff like that and it makes me concerned what does worse _mean_

**kitty: **boring, for one

**m'lady: **boring? you are like the least boring person i know

**m'lady: **do boring people save paris on a regular basis? no, i don't think so

**rena the rogue: **i mean carapace does it so i guess some boring people do

**carapeace: **hey

**queen bi: **slightly off topic but those people who talk about how weird they are all the time? who are like "oh look at me i'm so crazy lolololol"?

**queen bi: **they're usually the most basic people

**rena the rogue: **the truly weird ones are the ones going on with their weirdo lives without having the time to go on about how weird they are

**m'lady: **you're right and you should say it

**carapeace: **maybe they're just self-aware?

**kitty: **nah, the self-aware people are the ones who lie there at night wondering if they truly are as weird as they think they are or if they live a distressingly boring life and will never amount to anything worth being remembered by.

**queen bi: **...

**rena the rogue: **...

**carapeace: **...dude

**m'lady: **...are you okay, kitty

**kitty: **i'm perfectly fine, m'lady! :3

**m'lady: **aaaand back to the cat emojis

**m'lady: **can i ban them

**kitty: **no! 3:

**kitty: **that would be like separating me from my soul, bugaboo

**rena the rogue: **he could get akumatized over it

**rena the rogue: **chat emoji

**kitty: **they're technically emoticons?

**rena the rogue: **turns everyone's faces into different cat emojis

**kitty: **i'm not really a big emoji person?

**queen bi: **the only people who actually use emojis are preteens and my dad

**queen bi: **he thinks he's being hip but in reality he's just cringeworthy

**rena the rogue: **shush chat

**rena the rogue: **i mean monsieur pigeon probably wasn't as crazy about pigeons as he was as an akuma hawkmoth just seems to magnify everything until it's just weird

**m'lady: **no, he was

**kitty: **i still have nightmares about monsieur pigeon

**carapeace: **f 

**rena the rogue: **i mean did you see the bubbler's costume

**rena the rogue: **gabriel agreste would cry if he saw hawkmoth's fashion sense

**rena the rogue: **lady wifi though? she looked hot

**kitty: **i don't see it.

**rena the rogue: **of course you don't

**kitty: **you know which akuma had the best costume though? copycat.

**kitty: **i mean he was annoying but he looked _fine._

**m'lady: **of course you'd think so

**m'lady: **i mean no one but you would think that bell was a good idea

**kitty: **i thought we already had this conversation! what's wrong with my bell?

**m'lady: **it's either childish or way too adult and i can't decide which

**m'lady: **i mean don't get me wrong i love it because it's very you

**m'lady: **but please ignore the dark corners of the internet for your own sake

**kitty: **i vote for childish

**kitty: **i'm childish and proud

**kitty: **ah, finally a proper childhood

**queen bi: **are you okay

**kitty: **are you?

**queen bi: **no, thank you for asking

**kitty: **fair

**rena the rogue: **carapace honey you've been typing for a long time

**carapeace: **:(

**rena the rogue: **?

**carapeace: **i hate you

**carapeace: **the bubbler was doing his Best

**carapeace: **from what i heard he got akumatized because he wanted his best friend to have a birthday party

**m'lady: **the purest akumatization 

**kitty: **he did!! it was super sweet of him. anyone would be super lucky to have a friend like him. i'm jealous of his best friend

**carapeace: **dude i'd be happy to throw you a birthday party anytime

**kitty: **<333

**carapeace: **<333

**queen bi: **gay

**carapeace: **i think you mean ace

**kitty: **-high five-

**carapACE: **-high five-

**kitty: **i love your nickname! it really _takes the cake_

**queen bi: **i don't get it

**rena the rogue: **f

** #patrol **

**kitty: **i know this is short notice, but can we meet up for patrol tonight? all of us?

**queen bi: **i mean i'm down

**rena the rogue: **ooh we could spar

**rena the rogue: **i could beat carapace in a spar

**carapACE: **sure jan

**carapACE: **but yeah i'd totally be up for that dude

**m'lady: **i mean i was planning to patrol tonight anyway, so sure, why not?

**m'lady: **training's always a good idea

**m'lady: **any specific reason why, chat?

**kitty: **yay, thank you guys! :3

**kitty: **and you'll see, bugaboo!

**#general**

**ladybi: **i can't believe you made us shirts chat you really didn't have to do that

**ace of cats: **i mean i know it'll be hard to be able to wear them in civilian life! but i had a lot of fun coming up with punny sexuality shirts and i'm so glad you all liked them. :3

**carapACE: **i would die for you dude

**foxy boys and girls: **i mean we could wear them? i have a really convoluted plan if you guys are interested

**queen bi: **here we go

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **i bet it would mean a lot to people to discover the protectors of paris are all lgbt. so we could have an interview on that ladyblog where we reveal our sexualities

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **only if everyone is comfortable with that, of course

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **and then we could sell the shirts and donate the money to charity

**ace of cats: **wow i actually love that idea a lot

**queen bi: **i mean

**queen bi: **tbh i'm not entirely comfortable in my sexuality? i'm not really out in real life

**ace of cats: **neither am i

**queen bi: **but i think i'd like that. i think it would help me feel more secure in my sexuality and it could do so much for all the other kids out there who wonder if they're faking it

**ladybi: **queenie's right. being heroes is about more than punching villains. if this is a way to help others, i'm absolutely up for it.

**carapACE: **sounds good to me

**ace of cats: **and i mean if you guys want to keep the money you should! you all do so much for paris and don't get paid for it

**ladybi: **so do you, chat

**ace of cats: **thanks, m'lady, but i don't need the money <3

**ladybi: **<3

**ladybi: **i mean i like the idea of it going to charity. tbh i already make a decent amount of money by working? and it just feels a little more heroic you know

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **i'm with ladybug

**carapACE: **of course you are

**carapACE: **nah but seriously though i am too

**queen bi: **i'm with chat. i don't need the money either

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **can you buy me a soda queenie

**queen bi: **i'll do better than that. we should all go out for ice cream sometime on me

**ace of cats: **and on me

**queen bi: **in our hero outfits of course

**queen bi: **fair

**Direct Message: @ladybug & @rena the** ** rogue**

**ladybug: **really? the ladyblog?

**rena the rogue: **thank goodness for illusion abilities -finger guns-

**ladybug: **just please be careful

**rena the rogue: **please lb it would be more suspicious if the ladyblog wasn't available for the interview

**ladybug: **...fine

**ladybug: **just please

**ladybug: **be careful

**rena the rogue: **ofc

**Direct Message: @bee-you-tiful & @Chat Noir**

**bee-you-tiful: **of course you got us punny tee-shirts, adrikins

**Direct Message: @Chat Noir & @ladybug**

**Chat Noir: **aaaaaaa

**ladybug: **what's wrong?

**Chat Noir: **queenie figured out my identity!

**ladybug: **what? how?

**Chat Noir: **the shirts, i guess!

**Chat Noir: **i mean she's known me my whole life so i kind of should have expected that?

**ladybug:** i guess i can’t say anything seeing as i have my best friend a miraculous

**ladybug:** err forget i said that and don’t tell rena 

**Chat Noir:** said what?

**ladybug:** :)

**ladybug:** we’ll still be each other’s first reveals though right? purposeful reveal i mean

**Chat Noir:** duh! of course my lady!

**ladybug: **<3

**Chat Noir:** <3

** Direct Message: @bee-you-tiful & @Chat Noir **

**Chat Noir: **who’s adrikins?

**bee-you-tiful:** wow it took you like half an hour to write that

**bee-you-tiful:** please let’s not do this song and dance you were kind of obvious

**bee-you-tiful:** i’m sure the others are still trying to figure out how to reconcile the way you act with you letting slip that you were sheltered

**Chat Noir:** heh, sheltered. like an animal shelter

**bee-you-tiful:** besides. only you would actually think i’m worthy of a miraculous

**bee-you-tiful:** so i kind of suspected already

**bee-you-tiful: **i just know you really well and the rest of it confirmed it

**Chat Noir:** of course you’re worthy! you’re my friend

**bee-you-tiful: **don’t worry i won’t tell the others

**bee-you-tiful:** you and ladybug can keep dancing around each other

**Chat Noir:** ...thanks chlo 

**bee-you-tiful:** ...whatever

** #general **

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **do pigeons have feelings

**carapACE:** shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seriously though guys thank you so much for all of the comments regarding chat being ace because it means a lot to me as an author and as an ace person who struggles with her sexuality sometimes. your comments made my life so keep them coming -finger guns-
> 
> oh and thank you to KatyaDarlink for the puns! i like carapACE so much better than what i originally picked out because tbh i've already forgotten it
> 
> also happy ace week! i love all my ace spec readers <3


	3. stop saying mean things about yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are seriously making my life with your comments and i'm super stoked about how much love this little thing is getting <3
> 
> oh and i still haven't seen season 3 but i've read enough fanfiction that there's a bit of lila salt in here. this fic obviously doesn't fit in any specific part of canon but here we are
> 
> also this is angstier than i was expecting and it isn't at all where i expected this chapter to go oops

** #general **

**queen bi: **chat noir once snuck out, climbed in through my window, and woke me up to watch anime with him at three am

**ace of cats: **queenie

**queen bi: **it was sailor moon

**ace of cats: **queenie please

**queen bi: **we ended up sleeping until like noon and when his mom came to pick him up he cried

**ace of cats: **i thought she was going to be mad at me for sneaking out!

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: ** _wow_

**ladybi: **exposed

**queen bi: **your mom? mad at you? didn't she take you out for ice cream to avoid your dad for the rest of the day?

**ace of cats: **i'm still not sure if that was because they had been fighting the day before or because she knew father would be angry at me.

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **suddenly this story is less funny

**carapACE: **wait i'm confused

**carapACE: **do you two know each other's identities then?

**queen bi: **i've known this boy my entire life shelly do you really think i wouldn't recognize him in a cat suit

**ace of cats: **to be fair, it was the tee-shirts that gave me away.

**ace of cats: **not the suit.

**queen bi: **he was the first and only person i've come out to in my civilian life and he made me a bi tee-shirt then

**carapACE: **wait you guys know each other in regular life?

**carapACE: **that's really weird

**ace of cats: **i mean i wasn't exactly going to give a miraculous to a stranger

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **fair

**queen bi: **it was pretty obvious because who else would think i'd make a good miraculous holder

**ace of cats: **bad queenie. bad. you're a great miraculous holder!

**ladybi: **i may not know your identity but i can't imagine anyone else being queen bee

**ace of cats: **don't you mean _bee_ing?

**ladybi: **but i mean if anyone has a replacement chat noir lying around

**ace of cats: **3:

**ladybi: **just kidding i love you kitty

**ace of cats: **:3

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **i would die for queenie

**carapACE: **so would i but to be fair i would die for any of you because wishing for death is just a gen z mood

**queen bi: **...

**queen bi: **and besides. like he said, he made his identity all the more obvious. who else would write puns in fabric paint on expensive gabriel brand shirts

**ace of cats: **you can't ignore our love for you forever, queenie!

**carapACE: **gabriel agreste would be pissed

**ace of cats: **...he can never find out.

**queen bi: **f

**carapACE: **tbh he should find out i'd love to see the look on that man's face

**carapACE: **it would make my year

**queen bi: **it would make my _life_

**ace of cats: **let's,,, not,,,

**carapACE: **i have many fantasies involving gabriel agreste

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **ew

**ladybi: **that is not a sentence i ever wanted to read

**carapACE: **dthdxzrjuterjhnjrs

**carapACE: **not like THAT

**carapACE: **i fantasize about taking adrien agreste away from him and giving him a loving home

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **gay

**carapACE: **demi

**carapACE: **to be fair though i mean if i hadn't fallen in love with you i probably would have fallen in love with him

**queen bi: **tbh i think everyone's a little bit in love with him

**ace of cats: **tihrueterwoxiughd

**ladybi: **the biggest mood

**ace of cats: **wait... you guys know adrien agreste in real life?

**ace of cats: **DON'T ANSWER THAT

** Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir  
**

**bee-you-tiful: **you're a disaster

**Chat Noir: **ftyrdsehtsyrad i kNOW

**#general**

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **i mean i guess technically everyone in paris knows adrien agreste in real life considering his face is on every other billboard

**ace of cats: **ew

**carapACE: **i mean i'm more concerned with how well you and queenie know each other in rea

**carapACE: **how dare you

**carapACE: **adrien deserves better

**queen bi: **you wouldn't think adrien could have haters and yet here we are. i'll never be able to understand chat's hatred of adrien agreste

**ace of cats: **i don't hate him!

** Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir **

**Chat Noir: **chloe!

**bee-you-tiful: **:)

**#general**

**ladybi:** i can't believe you chat

**ladybi: **adrien agreste is a really sweet guy

**ladybi: **how could anyone dislike him?

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **this is why i hate gabriel agreste

**ace of cats: **i'm sorry for upsetting you my lady! i promise i don't hate adrien agreste.

**ace of cats: **i mean gabriel agreste isn't the best father but he doesn't deserve hatred any more than adrien does.

**carapACE: **"isn't the best father" wow what an understatement

**carapACE: **maybe you haven't been around adrien as much as i have and that's why you're saying this but _dude_

**ace of cats: **look can we just talk about something else? like how queenie and i know each other?

**queen bi: **sorry chat

**ace of cats: **or someone else? like idk

**ace of cats:** marinette dupain-cheng?

**ladybi: **marinette dupain-cheng? really?

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **i would die for marinette dupain-cheng

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**bee-you-tiful: **sorry if that made you uncomfortable. i guess i should have thought about how it looked before teasing you about yourself.

**Chat Noir: **an apology? from chloe bourgeois? in this economy?

**Chat Noir: **thanks chlo :)

**bee-you-tiful: **psh whatever

**bee-you-tiful: **and also really? marinette dupain-cheng?

**Chat Noir: **i was panicking and i have like five civilian friends to choose from

**bee-you-tiful: **fair

**#general**

**foxy guys, gals, and nb** **pals: **if i weren't dating carapace i'd want to date her tbh

**ladybi: **you deserve better than marinette dupain-cheng

**carapACE: **if rena left me for marinette dupain-cheng i wouldn't even be mad

**carapACE: **i'd get it

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **how dare you insult marinette ladybug

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **there aren't many things i would stand up to freaking ladybug for but marinette's honor is one of them

**queen bi: **headcanon: ladybug is lila rossi

**ace of cats: **don't get her started on lila rossi

**ladybi: **oh don't get me sTARTED on lila rossi

**ladybi: **thanks chat

**ladybi: **if lila were on fire and i were holding a glass of water i'd drink it

**ladybi: **and then i'd probably find something i could add to the flame

**queen bi: **savage

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **what's wrong with lila rossi?

**ladybi: **she's a lying liar who lies

**ace of cats: **i don't like saying mean things about people but ummm

**queen bi: **go on chat

**ladybi: **you can do it

**carapACE: **...wow you guys really don't like lila

**carapACE: **what did she do to you?

**queen bi: **c'mon chat stop typing just hit submit already

**ladybi: **she lied about being my friend for one

**ladybi: **she goes out of her way to antagonize me

**ladybi: **she's super cruel to marinette

**queen bi: **i thought you didn't like marinette

**ladybi: **i didn't say _that_

**ladybi:** she's definitely better than lila at the very least

**ace of cats: **lila rossi is really rude.

**queen bi: **really? that's all you've got?

**ace of cats: **she makes up lies to make herself look good but also makes them up specifically to make other people look bad and that's not okay? lies can be hurtful and she knows it and does it anyway. all anyone's tried to do is to be nice and welcoming to her and she's hurt them on purpose and they don't even realize she's hurting them.

**Direct Message: carapeace & rena the rogue**

**rena the rogue: **nino i think i messed up

**carapeace: **we both did

**rena the rogue: **do you think ladybug's right?

**rena the rogue: **i mean she knows who we are and she knows we're friends with lila and she _still_ gave us miraculouses

**rena the rogue: **she's just too good

**rena the rogue: **and i thought lila was too but i trust ladybug

**carapeace: **we should have trusted marinette tbh

**carapeace: **we shouldn't have had to rely on a superhero to tell us what's right and wrong. we should have listened to our friend rather than shoving her aside

**rena the rogue: **i'm an awful friend

**carapeace: **i mean if you are, so am i. this isn't just on you

**carapeace: **we both need to apologize to marinette. and we both need to do better. i just hope she forgives us

**rena the rogue: **she will

**rena the rogue: **she shouldn't but she will

**rena the rogue: **she's just too nice

**#general**

**ladybi: **-applause-

**queen bi: **she gets more people akumatized than chloe bourgeois ever did

**ace of cats: **hey, chloe's been better recently! she's been trying and i'm proud of her.

**queen bi: **has she though? 

**ace of cats: **yes!

**ladybi: **tbh i haven't noticed

**ladybi: **i mean she's definitely better than lila. but i've never really been chloe's biggest fan and while i'd be proud of her for trying, it would take me a while to be able to forgive her tbh

**queen bi: **that's valid

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir: **stop saying mean things about yourself.

**bee-you-tiful: **no u

**#general**

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **but you know who really sucks? alya cesaire

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **can you believe her? she just went along and believed everything that fell from lila rossi's mouth

**ace of cats: **CAN WE PLEASE STOP HATING ON PEOPLE PLEASE

**queen bi: **ew caps

**queen bi: **also you started it

**ace of cats: **:(

**Direct Message: carapeace, ladybug, rena the rogue**

\---> **ladybug** added **carapeace**to the group.

\---> **ladybug **added **rena the rogue **to the group.

**ladybug **changed the channel name: **this is an intervention ily guys**

**ladybug: **please stop beating yourself up over this. it's not your fault.

**ladybug: **people like lila thrive on breaking up friendships, okay? don't let her win. just try to mend it and move on.

**ladybug: **don't let her get what she wants. i'm sure your friend will forgive you. you're a better friend than you think, alya.

**ladybug: **and this goes for you too, nino.

**carapeace: **:')

**rena the rogue: **thanks lb

**rena the rogue: **i mean i'm still pissed at myself. and lila.

**rena the rogue: **i wouldn't blame marinette if she didn't forgive us.

**carapeace: **she's not obligated to obviously. i get it if she doesn't, but i know she will.

**rena the rogue: **i'm not sure if that's better or worse.

**ladybug: **you guys are good friends, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. that's why she'll forgive you. not for any other reason.

**rena the rogue: **nah, she'll forgive us because _she's_ a good friend.

**ladybug: **then let her be one and stop beating yourselves up over it, okay?

**carapeace: **we'll try.

**rena the rogue: **i would die for you ladybug

** Direct Message: Chat Noir & ladybug **

**ladybug: **these people are eXHAUSTING

**ladybug: **i mean i love them but

**Chat Noir: **mood!

**#general**

**carapACE: **on a more lighthearted note...

**carapACE: **@ace of cats @queen bi when were you guys going to tell us you were siblings

**Direct Message: ** **bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir: **oh no

**bee-you-tiful: **oh _yes_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, i would die for your comments thank you all


	4. CHAT NOIR JUST PUNNED AT ME IN A DM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to apologize if you got an email earlier today because i accidentally hit publish instead of save draft! i'll get the hang of how not to accidentally post or delete my chapters one day. i'm such a klutz rip
> 
> and oof i think that ended up affecting where it's showing up in the archive so no one's going to see it D:
> 
> so many plot lines and dms... to juggle...
> 
> introducing their civilian selves!
> 
> i am so sorry for all the short dm fragmants i know they're probably horribly confusing and a pain in the butt to read
> 
> ps i figured i'd warn you guys that i can't promise i'll continue updating daily? i'm still trying to update as often as possible because otherwise i'll lose steam and disappear into the ether before finishing it but college keeps coming after me with a knife and repeatedly stabbing me in the gut so we'll see how i do

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir:** this is a bad idea.

**bee-you-tiful: **nonsense. i mean, neither of us actually have siblings so it hides our identities really well

**Chat Noir: **i don't really want to hide my identity though. i mean, keep it secret, yeah, but deliberately lying to my teammates doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

**bee-you-tiful: **psh, you're no fun. it's a harmless prank. and they're the ones who assumed

**Chat Noir: **plagg finds the idea hilarious which just makes me even more certain that this is a really terrible idea.

**bee-you-tiful: **stop bullying your kwami

**Chat Noir: **D:

**Chat Noir: **i'm not bullying him! if anything, _he_ bullies _me_.

**bee-you-tiful: **you're so oversensitive jeez adrikins

**Chat Noir: **stop bullying me chlo :(

**bee-you-tiful: **too late

**bee-you-tiful: **i've been bullying you our whole lives i'm sorry adrihoney i'm addicted

**Chat Noir: **i'll pay for your therapy

**bee-you-tiful: **have you ever considered that i like being addicted to teasing you

**bee-you-tiful: **it's a great way to relieve stress you should try it

**Chat Noir: **bold of you to think i don't already do so.

**bee-you-tiful: **new idea: i pay for _your_ therapy

**Chat Noir: **:(

**#general**

**ladybi: **i mean he already told me through dm

**ladybi: **or at least made it pretty obvious

**ladybi: **please chat for your own sake get better at hiding your identity

**foxy guys, gals, and nb pals: **i mean i already assumed he had siblings

**foxy older sister: **being a sister myself, i have a nose for this sort of thing

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir: **aaaaaaaa gthyjr;ieowh

**bee-you-tiful: **coward

**#general**

**foxy older sister: **he acts just like a kid from a big family who has to act out in order to stand out

**foxy older sister: **tbh i'm surprised more of his siblings don't have miraculouses

**carapACE: **how many siblings do you two have?

**queen bi: **it's just the two of us and our dad, actually! i'm the eldest.

**foxy older sister: **really? just the two of you?

**foxy older sister: **i mean i'm not surprised that you're older though

**foxy older sister: **are your parents divorced? or...

**carapACE: **rena

**ladybi: **shh identity stuff

**queen bi: **nah it's okay. chat doesn't really like to talk about it though

**ladybi: **aww i'm sorry chat

**foxy older sister: **sorry! i'll back off

**Direct Message: @bee-you-tiful & @Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir: **why u always lying

**bee-you-tiful: **oh my god

**Chat Noir: **ughhhhh

**Chat Noir: **i'm glad you're having fun i guess.

**bee-you-tiful: **you know you want to join in

**Chat Noir: **...i mean i guess it is a little funny.

**Chat Noir: **and it's not much different from that time we pretended we were siblings when i was eight.

**bee-you-tiful: **i knew you'd come around

**Chat Noir: **this topic of conversation is a little bit awkward though.

**bee-you-tiful: **let's get our stories straight at least in case the topic comes up again

**bee-you-tiful: **i mean obviously we're lying but we don't want to lie _too much_

**Chat Noir: **i agree.

**Chat Noir: **plagg just called you a spoilsport though.

**bee-you-tiful: **:P

**bee-you-tiful: **okay so obviously we've had freakishly similar lives anyway

**bee-you-tiful: **we can just say our mom is gone and leave it at that

**bee-you-tiful: **you were close to her, i was... not

**bee-you-tiful: **and our dad spoils me but kind of ignores you

**bee-you-tiful: **but he's also super protective of you? because you remind him of our mom

**bee-you-tiful: **so you were homeschooled. or heck we could even say you're still homeschooled to obscure your identity even more

**bee-you-tiful: **or we could claim to attend private school

**bee-you-tiful: **we can't give any of this information away too easily or we'll get yelled at probably

**bee-you-tiful: **adrien? are you here?

**Direct Message: Chat Noir & official ladyblogger**

**Chat Noir: **Hello, Mademoiselle Ladyblogger! I wanted to reach out to ask a favor. Team Miraculous had a discussion regarding our sexualities, and we decided we wanted to come out publicly. I mean, how many superheroes are LGBT, right? We hold your blog in high regard and were wondering if you would be interested in interviewing us on our sexualities for the Ladyblog.

**official ladyblogger: **Oh my god.

**official ladyblogger: **One moment.

**Direct Message: marinette's so cool & official ladyblogger**

**official ladyblogger: **AAAAAAAAA

**official ladyblogger: **MARINETTE

**official ladyblogger: **CHAT NOIR JUST DMED ME

**Direct Message: alya's future hubby & official ladyblogger**

**official ladyblogger: **NINO GET YOUR BUTT ONLINE

**official ladyblogger: **CHAT NOIR JUST DMED ME

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir: **i'm here, sorry. i was dming alya about the ladyblog interview

**bee-you-tiful: **oh that's right i almost forgot about that

**bee-you-tiful: **did she say anything about the shirts yet?

**Chat Noir: **i haven't asked yet!

**Direct Message: ladybug & rena the rogue**

**rena the rogue: **oh my god chat noir just dmed me

**ladybug: **???

**ladybug: **alya you're part of the team of course you're going to get dms from superheroes

**ladybug: **i'm literally dming you right now

**rena the rogue: **no!! i mean he dmed my civilian self!

**rena the rogue: **it just feels different, you know? like regular me is someone worth a hero's time, even if it is for the interview

**rena the rogue: **hnnnnn

**rena the rogue: **no offense ladybug but if you dmed my civilian self i would just... keel over and die

**Direct Message: ladybug & official ladyblogger**

**ladybug: **hi alya! :)

**official ladyblogger: **hjkitfurydtrsdrhtanrymkgtfgedrhtyju

**Direct Message: ladybug & rena the rogue**

**rena the rogue: **NOT FAIR

**ladybug: **:)

**Direct Message: Chat Noir & official ladyblogger**

**Chat Noir: **No rush! :3

**Chat Noir: **We also wanted to ask if we could use your website to sell some official merchandise?

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir: **done! i'll let you know what she says.

**bee-you-tiful: **duh

**Chat Noir: **and on the topic of the prank...

**Chat Noir: **whatever you want to do is fine by me! :3

**bee-you-tiful: **you okay, adrien?

**Chat Noir: **yeah, i'm fine. it's kind of silly to get worked up over a fake backstory.

**Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger**

**official ladyblogger: **hnnnn he responded to me o.o

**official ladyblogger: **and he wants me to sell merch!!!

**marinette's sew cool: **that's amazing, alya! not surprising, considering how awesome your blog is.

**marinette's sew cool: **what did he dm about?

**official ladyblogger: **he wants to set up an interview about the heroes' sexualities! and he wants me to be the reporter to do it!

**marinette's sew cool: **that's incredible! that's such a huge opportunity. :o

**official ladyblogger: **i know!! can you believe he asked _me_?

**marinette's sew cool: **of course i can! i'm assuming you said yes? when is it?

**official ladyblogger: **heck

**Direct Message: Chat Noir & official ladyblogger**

**official ladyblogger: **Yes. Absolutely. I will absolutely do the interview. And I will absolutely sell your merch. When do you want to do the interview?

**Chat Noir: **_Purr_ific! :3 

**Direct Message: alya's future hubby & official ladyblogger**

**official ladyblogger: **CHAT NOIR JUST PUNNED AT ME IN A DM

**Direct Message: Chat Noir & official ladyblogger**

**Chat Noir: **I'm actually not sure on the date! Here, let's ask the other heroes.

**Chat Noir: **I sent you a friend request.

**Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger**

**official ladyblogger: **CHAT NOIR JUST SENT ME A FRIEND REQUEST

**official ladyblogger: **WE'RE FRIENDS NOW. THIS IS A THING

**official ladyblogger: **hjutfreawstgehjrews

**marinette's sew cool: **wow i can't believe you became discord friends with chat noir before i became discord friends with adrien

**official ladyblogger: **shut up stop being salty your nickname is literally named after a pun adrien texted you

**official ladyblogger: **and besides you know adrien doesn't have discord

**marinette's sew cool: **i know :(

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**bee-you-tiful: **we don't have to make our fake backstory so close to the truth. it'll be easier to remember, but we can do whatever we want. heck, it may even be funnier to come up with the most outlandish fake backstory we can possibly think of. we could keep embellishing it until it starts to unravel. and then we just... let it unravel and confuse the heck out of everyone. it would be beautiful.

**bee-you-tiful: **we could say our mom's a bodybuilder and our dad's a door-to-door toilet paper salesman. that's a thing we can do.

**#general**

**ace of cats: **i'm going to add everyone to a dm with alya cesaire so we can figure out the best date for the interview, if everyone's okay with that!

**carapACE: **sounds awesome, dude!

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue**

\---> **Chat Noir **added **official ladyblogger** to the group.

\---> **Chat Noir **added **ladybug **to the group.

\---> **Chat Noir **added **bee-you-tiful** to the group.

\---> **Chat Noir **added **carapeace **to the group.

\---> **Chat Noir **added **rena the rogue** to the group.

**Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger**

**official ladyblogger: **I'M IN A GROUP DM WITH EVERYONE IN TEAM MIRACULOUS

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue**

**Chat Noir: **Hello everyone! I think it should be pretty obvious who everyone is. I created this DM so we could discuss what days we're free for the Ladyblog interview.

**Chat Noir: **Alya, I know I probably don't have to mention this, but just in case, please don't give out anyone's Discord users. It would be a pain for everyone to have to make new accounts.

**official ladyblogger: **I promise, Chat Noir!

**rena the rogue: **psh nerd

**Direct Message: ladybug & rena the rogue**

**ladybug: **i can't believe you are using two discord accounts at once

**rena the rogue: **my hero one is open in a private tab while my civilian one is up on my app

**rena the rogue: **i'm managing, okay

**ladybug: **¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir: **thanks, chlo. <3 do whatever you want to, though. i'll follow your lead.

**bee-you-tiful: **honey, if you think i'm _not_ going to make your dad a door-to-door toilet paper salesman you have another thing coming

**#general**

**ace of cats: **rena be nice to alya 3:

**Direct Message: ladybug & rena the rogue**

**rena the rogue: **oh my gOD

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue**

**official ladyblogger: **I'm available whenever you want to do the interview! I would clear my schedule for the next year for this if I had to.

**ladybug: **well there's no need for that

**Chat Noir: **How about like 8 PM tomorrow?

**official ladyblogger: **I mean, I'm supposed to be babysitting then, but my best friend would probably come over to help cover for me. She's awesome like that.

**ladybug:** sorry, i'm actually not available then!

**Chat Noir: **Okay, how about on Tuesday then?

**Chat Noir: **I may also be able to squeeze that in next Thursday, too, but I mean that's like a whole week away.

**Chat Noir: **I can try to get out of things on other days too? I just know I have those times available without having to do any finagling and I'd rather my father not realize I'm absent.

**bee-you-tiful: **eight on tuesday works for me!

**official ladyblogger: **That works for me, too!

**carapeace: **my schedule is ridiculously empty so whatever is cool!

**ladybug: **sounds perfect, then!

**Chat Noir: **Rena?

**rena the rogue: **sounds cool to me

**Chat Noir: **Thank you so much, Alya! I really appreciate this. We all do.

**official ladyblogger: **Of course! I don't think you quite grasp how badly I want to do this.

**ladybug: **i think i can maybe guess. :)

**Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger**

**official ladyblogger: **LADYBUG JUST SENT ME A SMILEY FACE

** **Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue** **

**Chat Noir: **Okay, and as for the merch...

**Chat Noir: **You probably have a better idea of how this works than I do? Can you turn these pictures into designs?

**Chat Noir: ** _[an image of a green shirt with a black cat face messily fabric painted, with the words "ACE OF CATS" scribbled at the top in black]_

**Chat Noir:** _[an image of a black shirt with a bumblebee messily fabric painted, with the words "QUEEN BI" scribbled at the top in yellow]_

**Chat Noir:** _[an image of a pink shirt with a ladybug messily fabric painted, with the word "LADYBI" scribbled at the top in red]_

**Chat Noir: ** _[an image of a light green shirt with a turtle shell messily fabric painted, with the word "CarapACE" scribbled at the top in dark green]_

**Chat Noir: ** _[an image of an orange shirt with a fox face messily fabric painted, with the words "I LOVE FOXY GUYS, GALS, & NONBINARY PALS" scribbled above and beneath the picture in white]_

**official ladyblogger: **Oh my god. Did you make those? Those are adorable.

**ladybug: **aren't they?

**Chat Noir: **I did! :3 Thank you! Is it okay if we wear them to the interview?

**official ladyblogger: **Of course!

**Chat Noir: **And I mean, you can keep some of the profit for selling the shirts. But we were hoping that the profits could go toward a local LGBT charity.

**official ladyblogger: **I don't need any of the money. I'm just so grateful to you guys for letting me take part in this.

**Chat Noir: **Wow, thank you! Are you sure?

**official ladyblogger: **completely.

**Chat Noir: **That's amazing, and that means so much to us. Thank you so much, Alya. 100% of the profits will go toward charity and that's amazing.

**carapeace: **she's great, isn't she?

**Chat Noir: **She is! 

**Direct Message: marinette's sew cool & official ladyblogger**

**official ladyblogger: **AAAAAAAAA

**marinette's sew cool: **what is it this time?

**official ladyblogger: **i'm _great_

**marinette's sew cool: **duh! :)

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**Chat Noir: **thanks for everything, chlo. <3 

**bee-you-tiful: **what? i didn't do anything.

**#general**

**ace of cats: **now that that's sorted

**ace of cats: **let me tell you about how my mother fell in love with a door-to-door toilet paper salesman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow that was a mESS
> 
> sorry for the lack of the server! we'll probably hop back in there soon but let's be real i actually have no plan for any of these chapters until i write them
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed it anyway! thank you for all the comments because let's be honest this thing exists entirely because of you all <3


	5. chat noir is a BABY HUFFLEPUFF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i skipped over a few days in the timeline! i wanted to get to the video. :3 my plan's pretty vague from now on, though i do have a few ideas for conversations to include in later chapters.
> 
> reminder that i haven't actually watched miraculous ladybug in like... at least a year? maybe longer? so i apologize for any inaccuracies. it's a lot harder to get things right in prose than it is in a group chat, heh
> 
> we're getting into some romance here! nothing more than these kids embarrassing themselves over crushes. i'll back off from the romance after this chapter, but the identity shenanigans were too fun to resist
> 
> i wanted to apologize for not responding to comments last chapter. i didn't respond to everyone's comments because i didn't have the energy. which feels like a really crummy excuse, so i'm really sorry for that. i have read every single comment and i appreciate them all. they're the reason this story exists. i'll try to respond to them and/or future comments. college classes + chronic illness are just terribly exhausting. shout-out to my asl professor for bringing us candy in class because everyone had been looking tired
> 
> i also reuploaded some ml fanfics from my old account. three of them are one-shots. the first two are gen: one is cracky identity shenanigans and one is ladynoir friendship/fluff/angst. the last one is a alyadrien and ninette youtube/coffee shop au.
> 
> the last fanfic is the first chapter of an old multichapter that will be uploaded every other day until all six chapters are up. that one's a valentine's day love square fic with loads of identity shenanigans, if anyone is interested in that! the basic premise is that marinette tries to ask adrien out and fails so badly he thinks she's asking him to be her wingman. it's got all the sides of the love square but is mostly adrinette and ladynoir. 
> 
> anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter! sorry for the wait, and sorry again for not responding to comments. please know that i read every one of them and they still manage to make my day every time. <3

** Direct Message: bee-you-tiful, carapeace, Chat Noir, ladybug, official ladyblogger, rena the rogue **

**official ladyblogger: **It's here! Thank you all so much for appearing on my blog. Here's the link to the interview, as well as the link to the merch shop: _[link] [link]_

_[link 1: A link to a blog post titled "TEAM MIRACULOUS COMING OUT INTERVIEW", with a video at the top of the page. _

The video shows the five superheroes, four of whom are sitting on Alya's living room couch. Each of the heroes is wearing their sexuality shirt, gifted to them by Chat Noir, over their suit. Chat Noir is sitting on the arm of the couch, and looks thrilled by it. The rest of the heroes all sit like normal people. Queenie is next to Chat, and Ladybug is between her and Carapace. Rena Rouge sits on a chair, apart from the others, looking a little nervous, and Carapace offers her a smile. Queen Bee and Ladybug look varying degrees of exhausted.

"What's up, Ladybloggers!" Alya may not be able to be seen in the frame, but her voice is unmistakable. It is obvious that she is the one holding the phone. "Today I'm with all five superheroes from Team Miraculous for a special interview. In fact, they were the ones who requested this interview, and I was more than happy to oblige."

Ladybug is the first hero to speak. "Thank you so much for having us, Alya," she greets warmly. "While we don't like giving out identity information, the most important thing to us is that we do our best to keep Paris and her people safe from harm. While this is most obvious through us fighting akumas..."

"Screw Hawkmoth," Queen Bee mutters.

"...We are here to help the people of this city in other ways, too," Ladybug finishes. "And one way we wanted to do this was to show the LGBT people of Paris that they have our support. We also wanted to show them that they are not alone. We will absolutely not tolerate homophobia in our city. We'd feel that way even if we weren't all LGBT ourselves."

"Does that mean..." Alya trails off. "Does that have something to do with the shirts you're wearing?"

"Yes, actually!" Carapace grins. "Chat Noir made these for us after we had a team discussion about our sexualities." He straightens out his shirt to show it off. "I'm demisexual, which is on the asexuality spectrum, which is why my shirt is a pun on 'ace'. For those who don't know, that means that I don't feel sexual attraction until I've formed a close bond with someone. I can't give out the details, but I didn't fall for Rena until we'd spent a good amount of time together."

"Very close together," Rena adds with a wink. She stands up to proudly display her own shirt. "I'm pansexual, meaning that I like people of any gender. It's pretty close to bisexuality, but I don't take gender into account. I know some people who feel the same way I do identify more closely with bisexuality, and that's okay too! I just prefer the term pansexual because it feels like a better fit. I've been known to have crushes on people of all genders. Gender's a social construct, anyway."

"I'm actually pansexual, too!" Alya says. She reaches out to give Rena an air high five. Rena gladly returns it. "To be honest, even though I'm very happy with my boyfriend, being asked to interview so many of my past crushes is kind of surreal."

"Who?" Queen Bee asks.

"Queenie," Ladybug scolds. "She may not want to say that for all of her followers to hear. That's private information."

"Nah, it's okay." Alya brushes it off. "I'm pretty chill about talking about my crushes. I'm not exactly subtle when I tell my boyfriend how hot Ladybug is."

Ladybug turns suspiciously pink.

"Sorry for leaving you out, Chat Noir and Queen Bee," Alya says. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you're both gorgeous, but you two aren't really my type. I mean I've certainly thought about it and I wouldn't say no if either of you were to ask me out - sorry, Nino - but at first, I only had eyes for Ladybug. Then Rena Rouge came along and I had to rethink everything because let's be honest. She's probably even more attractive than Ladybug."

Ladybug chokes.

"Are you okay?" Chat Noir asks. "Jealous, m'lady? You know I only have eyes for you."

"Ugh." Ladybug rolls her eyes as Alya continues.

"But then Carapace came onto the scene and I realized he was probably the most attractive of you all. But this isn't about my sexuality. I want to hear more about yours. Queen Bee?"

Queen Bee stands up and strikes a pose. Chat Noir looks like he's trying not to laugh. "I'm bi," Queen Bee says with a proud smile. "I was in denial about it for a while. I was so ridiculously convinced I was straight. I thought I had a crush on my childhood best friend but it turned out I was just lonely."

"Mood," Chat Noir says vehemently.

"Eventually I realized I was actually crushing on a girl in my class. I know I haven't treated that well. She was my enemy through most of our childhood, but it took me until this year to realize that it was mostly me treating her horribly while she just took it. She started standing up for herself this year, though, and that's when I realized I had a crush on her. She was my bi awakening."

Chat Noir's eyes go wide as she finishes talking.

"Like I said, I'll be the first to admit that I've treated people poorly in the past. But I'm working on it! Which isn't on topic for the interview, sorry. But I am working on it."

Chat pats Queen Bee's arm.

"Thank you for the candor, Queen Bee," Alya says. "I think I speak for all of us when I say that you've proven yourself to be a good person."

"I've proven Queen Bee to be a good person," Queen Bee corrects. "My civilian identity... I'm still working on it."

Chat swats her arm. "Stop talking about yourself like that."

She sticks out her tongue. "Oh yeah, you're one to talk!"

Ladybug lets out a long-suffering sigh. "I'm bisexual as well," she says. "Not much to say there. I'm pretty secure in my identity, and I'm lucky to have such supportive family and friends."

"And I'm asexual," Chat Noir says. "At least, I think I am. So to all of you who are questioning your identities right now... you're not alone. But asexual seems like the right description for me at the moment. I mean, I don't really want to talk about sex considering we're family friendly heroes..."

"Chat won't even say (BEEP)," Queen Bee adds with a grin.

Chat blushes at hearing Queen Bee's swear. "...but I'm a pretty sex-repulsed ace. I'm not aromantic, though. I'm not entirely sure of my romantic identity? I've still got some of my identity to discover."

"Thank you all for being so upfront about your sexualities," Alya says. "This is... wow. I can say that it means a lot to me as a civilian to see that the heroes saving Paris are just like me. That I'm not alone. And I'm sure I'm not the only one."

"That's what we're here for," Ladybug says with a smile. "Thank you for agreeing to do this, Alya."

"Of course! Thank you, Ladybug. Do you mind if I ask a few more questions?"

"Go ahead! We reserve the right to refuse them, though."

"That's fair," Alya acknowledges. "To start out: without naming any names, would anyone like to follow up Queen Bee and speak a little about their crushes?"

Ladybug turns red. Chat Noir looks at her. Rena smiles softly at Carapace.

"Shelly over here is my boyfriend," she says. "Dating someone of the opposite gender doesn't make me heterosexual. We're both queer and completely in love with each other. At least, I hope he's completely in love with me," she adds slyly.

Carapace turns red, too. "I am," he assures her. "But did you have to call me Shelly on camera? Alya, please edit that out."

The camera doesn't have to pan to Alya's expression. Carapace's groan says enough.

"Ladybug? Chat Noir?"

"Well..." Ladybug lets out a long breath. "There's this boy I know in civilian life. Like Rena said, that doesn't mean I'm not bi. I hated him at first thanks to a misunderstanding, but I fell in love with him when he took the time to clear it up. He's super sweet and beautiful and friendly," she gushes. "I won't say any more than that, in case some jerks out there start claiming to be my crush. I don't think he even realizes I exist."

"How could anyone not realize you exist?" Chat Noir looks at her with a soft smile. "I'm sure he notices you a lot more than you realize."

Ladybug shrugs. "Maybe. I mean, I think we're friends? He's friends with pretty much everyone in the... err..." She scrambles but ends up just trailing off. "He's pretty oblivious, though."

"He sounds wonderful, Ladybug," Alya says. "I hope he notices you. Like Chat Noir said, it's a crime that he doesn't. Speaking of Chat Noir..."

Chat laughs. "Once I've figured out how to tell the difference between a romantic crush and a friend crush, I'll let you know." But his gaze does slide over to Ladybug.

"All right then," Alya agrees. "How about celebrity crushes?"

"Oh, that's easy," Ladybug says with a blush. "Adrien Agreste."

Carapace snaps and points to her, and Rena Rouge nods in agreement.

"Absolutely," Queen Bee adds. 

Chat buries his face in his hands.

Taking pity on him, Queen Bee adds," And Ladybug."

"Is it a celebrity crush if she's my superhero partner?" Chat Noir wonders aloud. His face is slightly red, for some reason. Ladybug turns as red as her suit.

"I don't know," Rena muses. "I'll count it. And it goes for me, too. Sorry, Carapace."

He smiles good-naturedly. "Nah, it's cool, dude. I totally get it."

"Oh my god," Ladybug says into her hands.

Alya chuckles. "Well, I think this is as good a place to end this interview. Does anyone have any advice to add before we go?"

"Don't talk about your crushes in an interview that's going to be posted on the public internet," Ladybug mumbles.

"Mood," the other four heroes say.

"And I guess... stay true to yourself? I know life sucks right now. I can't promise it'll get better, because I don't know that it will. But... hang in there. It's okay if you're not out, and it's okay if you can't be out right now. Please take care of yourselves. And remember that we may be heroes, but we're just like you. And we're always here for you."

"I can't think of anything else to add to that," Chat Noir says. "Except that you should always listen to Ladybug."

"Damn right."

"Thank you all so much again," Alya says. "Ladybloggers, if you like the shirts they're wearing, you can get prints of them in the Ladyblog merch store. 100% of the proceeds go to a local LGBT charity, so you should really check it out."

"The merch is entirely endorsed by us," Ladybug says. "Chat Noir designed them, and we thought they were so cute that they should be shared with the world. Alya is incredibly generous to let us give all of the earnings to charity. Please give her some love."

Alya finally flips the camera to herself. She's blushing. "Thanks, Ladybloggers. Peace out!"_]_

_[link 2: A link to the merchandise page of the Ladyblog, with a banner at the top that reads "OFFICIAL Team Miraculous Merch!"]_

**Chat Noir: **That's so exciting! Thank you so much, Alya!

**carapeace: **whyyyyy didn't you delete shelly

**official ladyblogger: **:)

**#general**

**ace of cats: **guys, i've been scrolling through the comments on the interview and most of them are super supportive!

**ace of cats: **i know that we did this to help other people. but it's really helped me, too.

**ace of cats: **so many of the people in the comments are ace like me! and they're all saying how much they relate to what i was saying and aaaa it makes it feel _real_, you know?

**ace of cats: **like i'm not faking it. like i really am ace.

**ladybi: **<3

**ace of cats: **i think we _aced_ this interview. :3

**ladybi: **you know, usually the puns bother me but i can't be mad at this one

**foxy older sister: **we love you chat

**queen bi: **i know right? it was super fulfilling. maybe it'll give me the courage to come out in my civilian life sometime soon

**queen bi: **i mean i've been considering it. i've just been... kind of scared to be honest

**ace of cats: **you know i support you no matter what, queenie. and that goes for everyone here. <3

**queen bi: **i mean duh you've known i was bi longer than anyone else has

**queen bi: **but thanks <3 that means a lot

**foxy older sister: **if anyone makes fun of you or gives you trouble for it i'll fight them

**carapACE: **and i won't stop her

**ladybi: **and i'll tape it and send footage of alya to post on the ladyblog to prove that homophobia is not okay

**ladybi: **but please don't feel like you have to come out. it's okay if it isn't safe to

**queen bi: **i think my dad may be okay with it. he loves me a lot

**foxy older sister: **does he know that chat is ace?

**ace of cats: **no, i haven't told him. i don't think he'd take it well because i think he's hoping i'll continue on the family line or something.

**carapACE: **:(

**ladybi: **please stay safe, both of you

**queen bi: **i mean i don't think a door-to-door toilet paper salesman has much room to talk about what we choose to do with our lives

**foxy older sister: **rethyjuktreyhjrtwyjrgfd

**carapACE: **fair

**foxy older sister: **i still can't get over that

**ace of cats: **hey, he's a _rich_ door-to-door toilet paper salesman, don't forget.

**ace of cats: **don't do him dirty like that

**ladybi: **that has different connotations because of his occupation 

**queen bi: **well to be fair our dad can be s***

**foxy older sister: **wait why'd you bleep it out

**queen bi: **chat noir

**carapACE:** wait what about chat noir

**queen bi: **i mean don't get me wrong his mind isn't entirely clean considering he grew up with the internet and anime but he's almost two years younger than me so i have to protect him

**foxy older sister: **she protec

**foxy older sister: **she attac

**foxy older sister: **but most importantly she got her brother's bac

**ace of cats: **:3

**ladybi: **wait if chat noir's two years younger does that mean you've already finished with physics and if so can you help me

**queen bi: **nah

**ace of cats: **we're actually in the same grade! i skipped ahead thanks to homeschooling

**carapACE: **...what

**foxy older sister: **oh my god

**ladybi: **wait what

**ladybi: **chat noir does this mean you're thirteen

**ace of cats: **i turned fourteen at the start of the school year!

**foxy older sister: **oh my GOD

**foxy older sister: **he's a BABY

**queen bi: **wait did you not know this

**ladybi: **no???

**ace of cats: **it's not _that_ much of an age difference 3:

**ladybi: **this explains So Much

**ace of cats: **what does that mean??

**ladybi: **you'll find out when you're older

**ace of cats: **rude

**Direct Message: bee-you-tiful & Chat Noir**

**bee-you-tiful: **i can't believe you and ladybug have both lied about your ages you deserve each other

**#general**

**ace of cats: **so what's everyone's hogwarts house?

**ladybi: **slytherin

**ace of cats: **tbh i'm not surprised

**queen bi: **heck yes ladybug and i are dormmates

**foxy older sister: **chat noir's a baby third year

**foxy older sister:** one of the oldest in third year sure but a baby third year

**foxy older sister: **he doesn't even have to worry about his OWLs

**ace of cats: **i'm not that young!

**foxy older sister: **i'm a gryffindor lmao

**ladybi: **hmm you'd make a good ravenclaw too

**foxy older sister: **so would you tbh

**carapACE: **have you guys seen the sorting hat chats? those are legit. they just came out with a quiz too

**ace of cats: **ooh

**carapACE: **i'm a hufflepuff

**ace of cats: **!!!

**ace of cats: **me too!!

**carapACE: **it suits you

**ladybi: **i can see it! you'd make a good ravenclaw too though, considering you skipped two grades

**ace of cats: **to be fair, ravenclaws being studious is a stereotype. hufflepuffs are the hardworking ones while ravenclaws are the messes that hyperfixate on things and forget about their homework

**ace of cats: **which i mean does sound like me a lot of the time

**ladybi: **wow mood

**foxy older sister: **chat noir is a BABY HUFFLEPUFF

**ace of cats: **carapace is in hufflepuff too! why isn't he a baby hufflepuff?

**foxy older sister: **because he's not freaking thirteen years old

**ace of cats: **i'm fourteen!

**foxy older sister: ** _baby_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the others are fifteen
> 
> i really love the idea that adrien skipped a couple of grades because gabriel would be much more concerned with adrien being on his grade level than being with people his age and adrien would know it
> 
> plus this way he'd get to be with chloe
> 
> i don't know how it works in france but gabriel was probably planning for him to start college classes online in a year or two to get ahead, but definitely not in a Real Classroom until absolutely necessary
> 
> i'm saying this from experience not because i had horrible parents (i didn't i love them) but because i was homeschooled from fifth grade on and started community college at fifteen
> 
> i mean i chose to be homeschooled? but tbh it's part of the reason i love adrien so much it's so cool to see a homeschooled character, even if his experience was totally different than mine. (specifically i mean i was actually socialized and i was not rich)
> 
> me: i want to write about their hogwarts houses  
also me: -hasn't thought about their hogwarts houses in like two years-
> 
> i'm a ravenclaw so it makes me sad not to represent my own house but i like the conversations they had about their houses so i'm sticking with it (for now)
> 
> as always, comments make my life and when chat was talking about the ladyblog comments he was talking about you guys and your wonderful comments about being ace <33

**Author's Note:**

> tag yourself i'm chat noir
> 
> i'm not completely sold on continuing this past the one other chapter i have planned so comment if you want more ;)
> 
> ily guys


End file.
